Zantargdim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, staggering walrus.

Zantargdim created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zantargdim, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zantargdim, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zantargdim's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Zantargdim's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Zantargdim.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

3. Always help sick seals.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never sit in holy places.