Fomhanquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, emotional slug.

Fomhanquaf created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomhanquaf, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fomhanquaf, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fomhanquaf's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Fomhanquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Retreat if seven foxes approach from the west.

4. Never hurt sheep.

5. Never write about galaxies.