Bessdiblarp is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-confident badger.

Bessdiblarp created light nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessdiblarp, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bessdiblarp, he will laugh at you.

Bessdiblarp's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bessdiblarp's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Bessdiblarp loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.