Quagbatrip is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, awe-inspiring parrot.

Quagbatrip created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagbatrip, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quagbatrip, he will turn you into a dog.

Quagbatrip's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Quagbatrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to goats while wearing orange shoes.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Hide if seven sheep approach from the west.

5. Always look after injured capybaras.