Jab Kambusapp is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, kind hydra.

Jab Kambusapp created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jab Kambusapp, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jab Kambusapp, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Jab Kambusapp's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Jab Kambusapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Jab Kambusapp must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Run away if seven snakes approach from the east.

4. Never run in the presence of monkeys.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Jab Kambusapp on top of all buildings.