Minjonbet is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unthinking newt.

Minjonbet created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Minjonbet, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Minjonbet, it will curse you with boils.

Minjonbet's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Minjonbet's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three copper sculptures of Minjonbet on top of important buildings.

2. Never paint your arms black.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.