Singemvonk Hitgedyak is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, bad-tempered gerbil.

Singemvonk Hitgedyak created parasitic wasps six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Singemvonk Hitgedyak, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Singemvonk Hitgedyak, she will turn you into a dog.

Singemvonk Hitgedyak's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Singemvonk Hitgedyak's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Do not take Singemvonk Hitgedyak's name in vain.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.