Targhakkom Bammeghiv is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, charitable ferret.

Targhakkom Bammeghiv created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targhakkom Bammeghiv, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Targhakkom Bammeghiv, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Targhakkom Bammeghiv's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Targhakkom Bammeghiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill sharks.

2. Worship no other gods but Targhakkom Bammeghiv.

3. Never think ill of sick turtles.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always take life seriously.