Fatfarnxen is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, thoughtless lobster.

Fatfarnxen created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatfarnxen, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fatfarnxen, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Fatfarnxen's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Fatfarnxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about oranges.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fatfarnxen.

5. Never sing in the presence of porpoises.