Veentaphen is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, competent dog.

Veentaphen created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veentaphen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Veentaphen, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Veentaphen's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Veentaphen's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never play with disobedient children.