Dosslakdag is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omniscient lobster.

Dosslakdag created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dosslakdag, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dosslakdag, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dosslakdag's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Dosslakdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

3. You must never eat pineapples.

4. Dosslakdag loves rats, so they must be honoured.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.