Affedveg is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unthoughtful grasshopper.

Affedveg created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Affedveg, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Affedveg, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Affedveg's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Affedveg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Never eat green fruit.