Garqueegfobrulrapveen is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, conceited cow.

Garqueegfobrulrapveen created silver two million years ago.

If you believe in Garqueegfobrulrapveen, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Garqueegfobrulrapveen, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Garqueegfobrulrapveen's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Garqueegfobrulrapveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not covet oxen.