Tafjappit is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, impressive goat.

Tafjappit created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Tafjappit, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tafjappit, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tafjappit's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tafjappit's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Run away from brown doves, for they are unholy.

5. Do not cook food in pots.