Nakjansaw is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, slow hedgehog.

Nakjansaw created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nakjansaw, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nakjansaw, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Nakjansaw's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Nakjansaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt badgers.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nakjansaw.