Stikzan is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, fussy newt.

Stikzan created snails five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stikzan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Stikzan, he will turn you into a rock.

Stikzan's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Stikzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.