Konkonsad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, annoying monkey.

Konkonsad created silver seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Konkonsad, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Konkonsad, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Konkonsad's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Konkonsad's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never paint your neck violet.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Konkonsad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Put Konkonsad first in all things.