Fubflamlat is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, grumpy porpoise.

Fubflamlat created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fubflamlat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fubflamlat, she will destroy your home planet.

Fubflamlat's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Fubflamlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Worship no other gods but Fubflamlat.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Gulls are not to be trusted.

5. Fubflamlat loves capybaras, so they must be respected.