Nadboptimtaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, smart guinea pig.

Nadboptimtaf created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Nadboptimtaf, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nadboptimtaf, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Nadboptimtaf's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Nadboptimtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured manatees.

2. Do not wear iron on your body.

3. Erect three tin sculptures of Nadboptimtaf on top of important buildings.

4. You must love Nadboptimtaf.

5. Do not laugh in public.