Narllidjab is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unthoughtful narwhal.

Narllidjab created time and space two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narllidjab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Narllidjab, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Narllidjab's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Narllidjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Hide from blue turtles for they are unholy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not commit murder.