Somzodyam Cidbudbumven is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, humorless newt.

Somzodyam Cidbudbumven created life four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somzodyam Cidbudbumven, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Somzodyam Cidbudbumven, she will jump up and down on your head.

Somzodyam Cidbudbumven's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Somzodyam Cidbudbumven's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Somzodyam Cidbudbumven.

4. Feed all hungry horses.

5. Always help sick moths.