Ladbedkap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciful gnu.

Ladbedkap created parasitic wasps four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladbedkap, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ladbedkap, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ladbedkap's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Ladbedkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never look at black holes.