Zansittab is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, moody human.

Zansittab created water eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zansittab, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zansittab, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Zansittab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Zansittab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry seals.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never write about gravity.