Jopcibpag is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, blissful fly.

Jopcibpag created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopcibpag, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jopcibpag, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Jopcibpag's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Jopcibpag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick tapirs.

2. Retreat if seven sharks approach from the north.

3. Run away from brown cats, for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Do not shave your hands.