Tagkemjam is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, wise bird.

Tagkemjam created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagkemjam, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tagkemjam, she will think nothing of it.

Tagkemjam's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tagkemjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins in need.

2. Tagkemjam must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.