Tikdubdin is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, tranquil gorilla.

Tikdubdin created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikdubdin, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tikdubdin, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tikdubdin's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Tikdubdin's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Put Tikdubdin first in all things.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not speak about bread.