Bodlancet is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, vain manatee.

Bodlancet created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bodlancet, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bodlancet, she will not care at all.

Bodlancet's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Bodlancet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Always obey Bodlancet's priests.

3. Bodlancet must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.