Bonfeblak is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, all-powerful mole.

Bonfeblak created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonfeblak, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bonfeblak, she will turn you into a plant.

Bonfeblak's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Bonfeblak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Bonfeblak on top of all buildings.

5. Put Bonfeblak first in all things.