Gubjarncip is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, resourceful goblin.

Gubjarncip created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubjarncip, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gubjarncip, he will send you a sign.

Gubjarncip's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Gubjarncip's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gubjarncip.

2. Always help manatees.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.