Tikdoddab is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, fast hamster.

Tikdoddab created the cosmos nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tikdoddab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tikdoddab, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tikdoddab's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tikdoddab's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tikdoddab.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.