Sigzodrow is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, slow squid.

Sigzodrow created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sigzodrow, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sigzodrow, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Sigzodrow's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Sigzodrow's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sigzodrow.