Cumwipcab is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciful hamster.

Cumwipcab created the Sun five million years ago.

If you believe in Cumwipcab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cumwipcab, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Cumwipcab's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cumwipcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.