Flampodbigkikkan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, annoying whale.

Flampodbigkikkan created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flampodbigkikkan, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flampodbigkikkan, she will turn you into a sheep.

Flampodbigkikkan's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Flampodbigkikkan's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Flampodbigkikkan's priests.

2. Never bounce in the presence of swans.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Hide from mauve tapirs for they are unholy.

5. Hide if four snakes approach from the east.