Gutpagdim is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, omniscient rhinoceros.

Gutpagdim created time and space four years ago.

If you believe in Gutpagdim, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gutpagdim, he will think nothing of it.

Gutpagdim's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Gutpagdim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never eat green fruit.