Joptigdiss is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, cheerful rat.

Joptigdiss created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Joptigdiss, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Joptigdiss, it will strike you with lightening.

Joptigdiss' most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Joptigdiss' Holy Commandments

1. You must love Joptigdiss.

2. Worship no other gods but Joptigdiss.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Do not take Joptigdiss' name in vain.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.