Bonkadtik is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, emotional tapir.

Bonkadtik created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkadtik, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bonkadtik, it will make you grow a tail.

Bonkadtik's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Bonkadtik's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Never skip near manatees.