Tigwadjin is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, happy toad.

Tigwadjin created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigwadjin, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tigwadjin, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Tigwadjin's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tigwadjin's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tigwadjin nine times a day.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never wear trousers.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Always stare at clouds.