Fumfedbaf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, omnipotent squid.

Fumfedbaf created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fumfedbaf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fumfedbaf, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fumfedbaf's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Fumfedbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt turtles.

2. Retreat if seven grasshopers approach from the south.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Always help sheep.