Yattqueegmot is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciful rhinoceros.

Yattqueegmot created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattqueegmot, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Yattqueegmot, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yattqueegmot's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Yattqueegmot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Yattqueegmot loves dogs, so they must be respected.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not commit murder.