Gessgoddog is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, awe-inspiring wyrm.

Gessgoddog created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gessgoddog, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gessgoddog, he will turn you into a rock.

Gessgoddog's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Gessgoddog's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not stand on grass.