Vonksomsid Tanbarnbenmutbutcingig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, sapient human.

Vonksomsid Tanbarnbenmutbutcingig created the Milkyway five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonksomsid Tanbarnbenmutbutcingig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonksomsid Tanbarnbenmutbutcingig, he will be very sad.

Vonksomsid Tanbarnbenmutbutcingig's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Vonksomsid Tanbarnbenmutbutcingig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not take Vonksomsid Tanbarnbenmutbutcingig's name in vain.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not make images of living things.