Largxinbum Flanfemgov is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, merciful jackal.

Largxinbum Flanfemgov created parasitic wasps eight million years ago.

If you believe in Largxinbum Flanfemgov, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Largxinbum Flanfemgov, she will curse you with boils.

Largxinbum Flanfemgov's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Largxinbum Flanfemgov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Run away if three eagles approach from the east.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Hide from turquoise doves for they are unholy.

5. Never jump near grasshopers.