Hitgigbut Gidjatstigditgutjenkinjarn is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, dishonest hamster.

Hitgigbut Gidjatstigditgutjenkinjarn created everything that exists eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitgigbut Gidjatstigditgutjenkinjarn, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hitgigbut Gidjatstigditgutjenkinjarn, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hitgigbut Gidjatstigditgutjenkinjarn's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Hitgigbut Gidjatstigditgutjenkinjarn's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bread.

2. Erect six copper sculptures of Hitgigbut Gidjatstigditgutjenkinjarn on top of important buildings.

3. Never feed apples to hamsters while wearing violet hats.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.