Lamnartkem is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, idiotic zebra.

Lamnartkem created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamnartkem, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lamnartkem, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Lamnartkem's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Lamnartkem's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not kill capybaras.

3. Never jump in the presence of bats.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. You must never eat oranges.