Xinhotgem is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, omniscient giraffe.

Xinhotgem created the planet Jupiter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xinhotgem, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Xinhotgem, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Xinhotgem's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Xinhotgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Hide if four manatees approach from the north.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never write about amino acids.