Kamwatquimpidgubcitnel is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, grumpy crow.

Kamwatquimpidgubcitnel created humanity five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kamwatquimpidgubcitnel, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kamwatquimpidgubcitnel, it will turn you into a tree.

Kamwatquimpidgubcitnel's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Kamwatquimpidgubcitnel's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four pigs approach from the west.

2. Do not take Kamwatquimpidgubcitnel's name in vain.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.