Rotcanmob Tabstandap is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, grumpy cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Rotcanmob Tabstandap created the Cigar Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotcanmob Tabstandap, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Rotcanmob Tabstandap, he will ignore you.

Rotcanmob Tabstandap's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Rotcanmob Tabstandap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Rotcanmob Tabstandap loves foxes, so they must be respected.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Put Rotcanmob Tabstandap first in all things.