Tinyarpsag is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, conceited chicken.

Tinyarpsag created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tinyarpsag, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tinyarpsag, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Tinyarpsag's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Tinyarpsag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tinyarpsag.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Worship no other gods but Tinyarpsag.

5. Never eat green fruit.