Bepcebtap is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, impressive jaguar.

Bepcebtap created viruses two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepcebtap, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bepcebtap, it will turn you into a mole.

Bepcebtap's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bepcebtap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always help nematodes.

3. Never paint your feet blue.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always help sick moths.