Bophatcap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, staggering hydra.

Bophatcap created the Large Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bophatcap, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bophatcap, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bophatcap's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bophatcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

3. Always look after injured shrews.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not laugh in public.